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Monday is just the corpse of the weekend floating by and I think it's only respectful for us to honor its passing by not working.

I can’t believe the currency based on the same principle that keeps Tinkerbell alive isn’t doing so good.

I’m beginning to think crypto might not be the sound investment this random internet dude who traded his life savings for a jpg of an apathetic monkey swore it would be.

The only “red wave” I see is across the face of your racist Uncle Frank at Thanksgiving when you ask him how his candidate did

If you're still in line, STAY IN LINE THEY HAVE TO LET YOU VOTE

At least when the housing market crashed, people had had a home to live in for a few years.

In the crypto crash, all they had was a jpg of an ugly monkey.

What's happening at Twitter (bad decisions that massively increase troll/Nazi/racist behavior followed by almost immediate reversals) is EXACTLY what you would expect from a company purchased under the mistaken assumption that the trolls/Nazis/racists were on your side and would NEVER attack you.

Face-eating leopard party, etc. etc.

I built this tool a year ago but I feel like Mastodon folks would like it

The "Weird Old Book Finder"

Type in a search query, and it'll find one randomly-chosen public-domain book that matches the query -- and present it for immediate reading: weird-old-book-finder.glitch.m

Why only one book? To prevent the paradox of choice! Just *start readin'*

Can't promise every book will be weird, but most are

A longer essay on how/why I developed it:

This was a search for "mastodon"

I love "real people" investment seminars where people say things like "given today's actions by the Fed, it's time to consider moving your millions of dollars in investments from the stock market to bonds, in order to reduce your risk exposure during retirement", while most people on the call ask questions like "I'm 65 and my current retirement account is $7 in quarters I keep in a sock, what can I do to live off that for the next 25 years?"

Election runoffs should work like tiebreakers in tennis: you have to win at least seven runoffs, you have to win two runoffs in a row in order to win the election, and we just keep having runoff elections until someone does.

Why should elections only happen in election years? ALWAYS ELECTIONS ALL THE TIME

Trump has now led the GOP to popular vote losses in both 2016 and 2020, and CATASTROPHIC results in both 2018 and 2022 midterms.

Why is the GOP still so afraid of him? He’s not a kingmaker, he’s a consistent loser chooser.

Please vote. I'll do the dishes for a week if you do.

I used to manage a forum for AOL back in the day.

When forum managers got power-drunk, they spiraled and got angry and childish and lashed out and banned everyone for no reason, changing the rules on a whim to justify everything they did.

Sound familiar?

The biggest problem with Mastodon right now is that 90% of people's posts are "how to use Mastodon and how it's different from Twitter", so it's hard to figure out who to follow based on the content they would usually write.

Me, I just write fart jokes and terrible puns.

Happy Halloween, everyone! I dressed up as a procrastinator.

If companies could vote, they’d put the extra hour of DST at 4pm on a Monday, but not change the payroll system to take it into account.

You can vote. Vote this Tuesday.

It’s important to me and several million of my friends.

Holy shit! We have almost 40K people active currently on :amaze:

Well, that's a record :blobcatgiggle: :blobcathearts:

40K active from 104K total! :mastodon:

"You see, my child, when you saw but one set of footprints, in your times of greatest trouble, that is when I was carrying y--"

"No, no, I get the metaphor, Jesus. But I was talking about that set of footprints over there."


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