So if a former President just had dinner at his personal club with a Holocaust-denying, anti-semitic leader of a group of incels who believe women shouldn't have the right to vote, you'd probably be able to guess WHICH one, right?

I made a Möbius turkey for Thanksgiving and I've been carving it for the past 18 hours someone please send help

Don't listen to the people who tell you that personal anecdotes don't count as data: they've always worked for me.

I've been waiting in line for HOURS for the Black Friday deals at this Circuit City. FIRST!

What I have learned today is that it is SHOCKINGLY easy to just walk into a hospital and walk out with a random baby, and I think we should ALL consi--whoops wait hold on gotta run I'll finish this later

For Thanksgiving this year I made a Fibonaccicken, where I make a chicken and stuff it with another chicken that has been stuffed with two chickens that have been stuffed with three chickens that have been stuffed with five chickens.

I’m thankful that Charles Darwin's "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection" was published on this date in 1859.

Relevance to today? Well, if not for evolution, right now you’d be desperately trying to defrost a 6-ton T-Rex carcass in the sink.

And the Butterball Emergency Hotline would be NO HELP AT ALL.

I know you like puzzles, so for Christmas this year I bought you a fox, a chicken, a bag of corn and a canoe.

Confession: I think I've hit a plateau. I know my therapy isn't progressing, because my therapist keeps telling me the same things over and over, like "You're not supposed to be at my house" and "I'm not your therapist, I'm a veterinarian" and "I'm calling the cops."

I hope this email finds you angrily dragging a naked mannequin around a Home Depot parking lot.

UNIVERSAL LAW: All garage sales must contain 2-3 books each from Jodi Picoult, John Grisham, Dan Brown, Tom Clancy, Sue Grafton, James Patterson, Janet Evanovich & Danielle Steel

Oh yeah, I'm into digital transformation, man. You know, strategic. Got me some of that fine next-gen architecture, maximizing knowledge throughput, all that stuff. Zero trust sec perimeter and whatnot. I got collaborative efficiency up the waz, for reals. Hit me up on them digits, yo.

(Why my resume doesn't get more responses, I'll never know)

If I've learned one thing during my years on this Earth, spoiler alert, I haven't.

Finally (for the moment), here's an artifact of another 20th century AT&T network. This (now destroyed) shortwave "discone" antenna near the Jersey shore was part of the infrastructure for the High Seas Radio Service. This service allowed ships at sea to make and receive telephone calls, before satellites made that seem like less of a big deal. The service was discontinued in 1999, ten years before this photo was made.

Full version (and more details) at flickr.com/photos/mattblaze/41

#photography.

The true meaning of Christmas is accepting year-long 24-hour surveillance from a non-elected, self-appointed arbiter of morality, then either being forced to accept "free" goods (SOCIALIST much?) or being cancelled if he judges you as being "not nice".

I DO NOT CONSENT. I HAVE RIGHTS AND I WANT MY PHONE CALL.

SANTA ONLY GRANTS YOU AGENCY AND SELF-FULFILLMENT TO THE DEGREE HE FINDS YOU "USEFUL" TO MEET HIS OWN GOALS, JUST ASK RUDOLPH.

About 20 times a day, my brain goes "Whoa, that was a lot of hard work you just did! Good job, champ! You know what you deserve?"

"A L'IL SNACK! YUM YUM, SOM'N SWEET!"

Shut UP, brain. I'm trying to lose some pounds here.

This is the time of year when all the leaves fall off the trees and you can see all the birds' nests that were previously camouflaged and hidden, and I like to imagine all the little birdies freaking out in their nests going "OH FUCK OH SHIT WHAT THE HELL I'M NAKED UP HERE"

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