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can i just say that, even though it was controversial on the bird site, it is canon that alf was in love with patrick ewing

don't worry, people who fled twitter due to it being a hell site filled with threats and harassment, twitter is going to address your concerns by removing the like button.

me, regularly thwarted by inanimate objects and intractable clumsiness/general physical ineptitude: fuck u thing, u fuckin object fuck

Lindsey Graham approaches the lectern. He pauses, and slowly pulls a corn dog out of his ass. He screeches, "What member of the senate is pure of heart enough to eat my ass corn dog?"

The corn dog does not look good.

A consistent problem I have with post-apocalyptic fiction, particularly the Walking Dead, is the view of a world where everyone is amoral and out for themselves. That's not a very good description of how people actually behave in crises but it is a good description of normative behavior under capitalism.

my wrists are all jacked up from being extremely online for the last twenty years

dear devs,

please implement a dodge-roll for real life, so i have several animation frames of invulnerability from people asking me to do shit.

thank you.

➡️ 🔁

This place is full of exciting young people, boost if you’re old and weary

[a bunch of right-wing reactionaries exodus from Twitter into Gab]

🐸 : now that we're all here, let's commence to sharing unhinged theories about qanon, discussing the deep state, and post american flags nonstop!🇺🇸

[a bunch of garbage leftists exodus from Twitter into Mastodon]

🐘 : now that we're all here, BIG TIDDY ALF and FAT YOSHI play Fortnite with VAPE APE this is canon, people!👏

this is the preferred site for being a human, but i sometimes need to become a single drop of water in the wave that is breaking news law twitter

Millennials Are Killing The Commodity Production Industry By Frivolously Spending Their Money On Rent And Utility Bills

I have taken a lot of weed oil today as I've been trying to offset my body's bullshit-having. The fuck even is this red thing.

who has done more work for the american ppl?

boost for Luigi

ignore for the American government

boost to hammer a stake through ronald reagan's heart and put a bulb of garlic in his mouth to ensure he can never rise from his grave

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