The existence of fighting games implies the existence of a friendlier, kinder “loving” game

ONE OF THE LESSER-KNOWN WEASLEYS, WALKING IN ON THEIR PARENTS HAVING SEX:
mom please stop

MOLLY: I need more kids

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I've come to the conclusion that Mastodon is BYOB to Twitter's FYAD. If that sentence makes sense to anyone else who reads it, then my point has been proven.

[cops standing over my dead body]

“suicide?”

“yeah, he left a note. poor bastard tried to keep up with the both bird site and the elephant site. couldn’t see a way out so he decided to end it”

We will forsake our accounts...we will leave our sites behind us and become one with this earth. We have no group dm, no philosophy, no ideology. We go where we're needed, posting not for clout, not for engagement, but for ourselves. We need no reason to post. We post because we are needed. We will be the deterrent for those with no other recourse. We are posters without borders, our purpose defined by the era we live in.

twitter jack: we have developed a new feature that tazes you if you block a brand account

toot jack: i was up all night making you guys a new emoji of pirates kissing

It would really be a shame if someone had spent the past hour hoarding handles like @thewaltdisneycompany or @JPMorganChase or @generalmotors or @RoyalDutchShell to make sure corporations can’t use them when they inevitably invade 🤙😘

it would be an even bigger shame if this TOOT got BOOSTED and inspired others to grab up even more handles 🤷‍♂️✌️

ok, i finally figured out what to do with this site. i'll post bands that sound like Mastodon youtube.com/watch?v=xfS63LNOoI

i hear this is the site for hornyposting but all the femboy and hentai accounts i follow are on the birdsite... i feel left out

mfw i see all the wacky emojis you can use on this site

:blobbounce:

If a Krassenstein creates a Mastodon profile it will cause this entire site and all of its instances to fold like a fragile tesseract #toot #boom #ed #brian

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