in all seriousness i do actually recommend people read the bible, or at least certain parts of it, if only to better understand cultural allusion and also to debunk the ideological monopoly that evangelicals are forcing on our religious-adjacent culture as americans, much of which is not biblically supported or directly contradicted. and there is a lot of genuinely insightful and interesting things in there, just like any other holy book
I rant about smartphone volume control because it's impossible to use a smartphone next to a sleeping person without accidentally waking them up, due to all the arcane minutiae of what sounds can and can't be played depending on their source and who made the app and if there's a silent switch and if there's headphones and if and if and if and jdidjdndnxicu im just frustrated cuz I woke up my gf okay ;P
Gotta get this off my chest. America doesn't need a pony. It will bust down its stall in a storm, and you will go running off into the night and end up a tragic spirit haunting your grieving dad. Is this really the America we want, to be an EVIL HOOT OWL FOR SIX DAYS IN A ROW?
(The preceding was a public service message brought to you by Clinton Acres Pony Sematary.)