Trying to imagine the personalities of all the richass pro golfers that could do anything with whomever they wanted and instead choose to spend their time playing with a bunch of greasy racist walruses that cheat, like the president and his friends.

My grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great grandfather on my dad's side all had less than ten fingers. They were all carpenters. Were they all great carpenters? listen,

I originally heard it as "Theydies and Gentlethems" and I have no idea where this was but it stuck with me.

Don't envy the tree because the tree is made of darkness. You will be composed of darkness, too, in a while.

There's a lotta gender graphs but I always liked this one

bad news, jokes are cancelled because shitposting is innately fascist

Centrist culture is performatively thanking Amazon for graciously raising the floor for their wages rather than the countless people and organizations who applied the pressure necessary to get them to do so

in all seriousness i do actually recommend people read the bible, or at least certain parts of it, if only to better understand cultural allusion and also to debunk the ideological monopoly that evangelicals are forcing on our religious-adjacent culture as americans, much of which is not biblically supported or directly contradicted. and there is a lot of genuinely insightful and interesting things in there, just like any other holy book

My work is going through this kick where they want me to lick their boots and be a good employee and stop using the printer to post information about unions and also pictures of guillotines.

I rant about smartphone volume control because it's impossible to use a smartphone next to a sleeping person without accidentally waking them up, due to all the arcane minutiae of what sounds can and can't be played depending on their source and who made the app and if there's a silent switch and if there's headphones and if and if and if and jdidjdndnxicu im just frustrated cuz I woke up my gf okay ;P

broke: using your middle name as your password
woke: using your password as your middle name

Theres three kinds of people in the world; incel, volcel, and Duracell™

Gotta get this off my chest. America doesn't need a pony. It will bust down its stall in a storm, and you will go running off into the night and end up a tragic spirit haunting your grieving dad. Is this really the America we want, to be an EVIL HOOT OWL FOR SIX DAYS IN A ROW?

(The preceding was a public service message brought to you by Clinton Acres Pony Sematary.)

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