#midsomermurdersplot 

A one-armed arms dealer is found stewed in a vat of his own juices. Suspicion falls on Swarf End’s male escort, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten England’s green and pleasant land.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A retired astronaut is found as human bones for sale on Amazon.com. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Tor’s leaf-blower society, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten the great bake off.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A ladies' man is found a hundred razor sharp darning needles sticking out of the body. Suspicion falls on Bushygap’s au pair agency, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten to unleash the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A young entrepreneur with unfathomable insight is found drowned in a well. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Mere’s time travelling teenagers, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten to dredge up events from twenty-five years ago.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A local critic of contemporary architecture is found blood eagled. Suspicion falls on Little Coxton’s chess club, worried that parking restrictions might threaten more graveyard sex.

#midsomermurdersplot 

The village bovine inseminator is found crushed under a stack of dictionaries. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Holm’s friends of a flamboyant MP in a Saville Row suit, frightened that BBC casting directors might threaten the closure of a celebrity-run surgery.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A local hedgehog rescue activist is found dead at the hooves of marauding sheep. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wellow’s angry old-age pensioner, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten the closure of the miniature village.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A chilled out yoga instructor is found antlered by a red stag. Suspicion falls on Cockup Upper’s chapter of the Ayn Rand society, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten the closure of the miniature village.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A wildlife reserve volunteer is found roasting on a rotating spit. Suspicion falls on Little Didling’s tweeters who prefer tweets in 140 characters, frightened that BBC casting directors might threaten to start a Marxist revolution across Midsomer.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A visiting Toby Jug provenance evaluator is found with their last screams recorded by Alexa. Suspicion falls on Gumpton Marsh’s global conglomerate in charge of the Internet, frightened that BBC casting directors might threaten Geoff, the last surviving resident of Midsomer.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A local yokel is found poisoned by substance 33. Suspicion falls on Nomansland’s most notorious, right-wing troll, worried that parking restrictions might threaten the return of the Microsoft Office paperclip.

#midsomermurdersplot 

The local viscount is found rubbed out by a giant eraser. Suspicion falls on Llanwrtyd in Powy’s madrigal enthusiasts, worried that parking restrictions might threaten the very future of right wing politics.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A Blairite with long term memory loss is found drowned in milkshakes. Suspicion falls on Weedon’s Floral Society, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten to overshadow the sheepdog trials.

#midsomermurdersplot 

An ancient mariner is found dead from nicotine poisoning. Suspicion falls on Weedon’s bagpipe club, deeply concerned that guerilla tactics by activist groups might threaten local power structures.

#midsomermurdersplot 

The local time-poor bespoke clockmaker is found shot with a Gatling gun. Suspicion falls on Angels Rise’s church warden and magician, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten to start a Marxist revolution across Midsomer.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A tabletop gamer is found crushed in a dark satanic mill. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Macy’s Danish seller of Greenland real estate, worried that parking restrictions might threaten the pumpkin carving contest that we're only now hearing about for the first time.

#midsomermurdersplot 

An Ethereum cat fancier is found eviscerated into an offal cart (US patent 3863985). Suspicion falls on Barton in the Beans’ audiologist, One-Eared Brian, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten to tell the vicar who his parents really are.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A working-class welder is found poisoned with orange tanning chemicals. Suspicion falls on Midsomer St. Claire’s army base, frightened that BBC casting directors might threaten to destroy the boarding school’s secret society.

#midsomermurdersplot 

The town’s cantankerous children’s party planner is found buried neck-deep in pudding and eaten by Pudding Ants. Suspicion falls on Rooks Bridge’s pastor, angry that massive union mobilisation might threaten the village’s unbroken winning streak at the county honey fair.

#midsomermurdersplot 

A prolifically promiscuous plumber is found dead in a country pile. Suspicion falls on Little Malton’s football fans, worried that parking restrictions might threaten deliveries of organic vegetables.

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