Twitter dot com now directs you to their suggested follows page instead of your own timeline. You need to go to Twitter dot com slash home for your timeline. This is the worst thing happening in the world right now, I'm pretty sure.
I've made the joke about Harrison Ford having a new intelligent dog friend three different times with completely different groups of friends and everyone reacted with lukewarm chuckles. I guess what I'm saying is: there's a conspiracy out there to ruin my good joke!