If Facebook is ever going to tempt me back to using it for anything other than event planning, they're going to have to post something on their login page titled "How to Not Make Every Fucking Comment Section About You".
Trapped fixing stupid IT problems in this warehouse I missed my chance at eating breakfast *and* lunch. I'll just be here seeing everyone around me as giant roast Turkey legs like I'm Daffy Fucking Duck, don't mind me.
There's one episode of Gilmore Girls where Paris loses all her money and becomes instantly violently communist and advocates the overthrow of all society and I finally found my favorite character on this show.
I broke my rule of not buying anything for myself between Thanksgiving and Christmas to pre-order Super Smash Brothers because I'm having a *terrible week* and I deserve to look forward to something other than my impending death.
Waitress in this sports bar flipping through channels on the giant sports TV from one basketball game to an indistinguishable basketball game, pausing longingly on The Beverly Hillbillies Movie: I just want to say I feel your pain, but aim higher.