Quarantine Angel @mattherron@mastodon.cloud

Hey, I know I almost never post serious stuff on this site, but I just donated to the Minnesota Freedom Fund and you should too if you think that people of color should not be unjustly persecuted for wanting to be alive. https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate

Time theft is theft, and is probably the easiest way to recoup the money stolen from your productivity through wage theft, so don't work too hard it there you guys.

Just had the thought "I guess a stand mixer is like the Dremel rotary tool of the kitchen" and almost passed out from achieving peak Matt-ness.

When we say "Don't @ me" we all really mean "Don't disagree with me", right? Like, if you think I'm right, you can @ me all day!

Constantly bummed out that so many people can't tell the difference between "I like this thing" and "This thing is good". Specifically, I am talking mostly here about cheesecake. Don't @ me.

Have we all reached the "Texting someone you live with because you can't be bothered to go downstairs" level of quarantine yet, or am I just an early adopter?

The two types of sex scenes in modern fiction:

1) Look at these smoking hot inhuman fuck dolls, doesn't seeing their weird hairless muscle sacks slap together make you horny as hell?!?

2) Look at these disgusting pigs, isn't it incredibly depressing to see them acting like mindless animals? Feel bad for having ever been horny!

I know I'm not gonna make any friends with this statement, but: Aeris is a much better name than Aerith.

Story of the new Penny Dreadful: What if society had an evolving and complex relationship with race, religion and death?

Story of old Penny Dreadful: What if the wolfman fucked?

I just started a new twitch series called Game or Pass where I play through Xbox Game Pass games and see which ones are worth playing and which you should pass on. Check out my first episode where I start A Plague Tale: Innocence.

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/606655392

Sooner or later every TTRPG I've ever run/played in reaches a point I will call "Complicated Bullshit"

Laughing internally at the absolute fuckwits who forget that all you need to stay healthy is an apple a day. People are just walking right past a whole bun of apples. You fools! 🍎

Has anyone looked into the possibility that Beetlejuice is the ghost of The Mask? Because that would connect a lot of dots for me.

"Maybe this quarantine will be just what I need to get my life together."

-75% of people right now

Look, I'm not saying that I *deserve* adulation, I'm just saying that I want it anyway.

All I keep thinking is that there's gonna be a *lot* of regrettable beards by the time this is all over with.

Twitter dot com now directs you to their suggested follows page instead of your own timeline. You need to go to Twitter dot com slash home for your timeline. This is the worst thing happening in the world right now, I'm pretty sure.

John Wick is a prequel to Cowboy Bebop prove me wrong.

Putting a cauldron full of gold coins under my pillow tonight hoping that St Patrick comes and turns me into a werewolf. Fingers crossed!