This is a news announcement: Burger King now has Surge again, and also I have made a terrible mistake.

A helpful hint for the makers of the new Aladdin movie: the Middle East and India are *different places*. It's actually mega weird that you don't seem to know this.

The pun in the name of Men's Wearhouse makes me angry every time.

Welp, the new android update put the system clock in the upper left where notification icons go, so I'm going to think I have unread notifications forever now. I'd go walk into the sea with a big rock tied around my neck, but first I have to check all these notifications!

Remember in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when they live IN NEW YORK CITY and they order pizza from Domino's? That's some bridge and tunnel horseshit.

New podcast day, we discuss a game I've never heard of and I don't understand: Dofus

weaponizedlanguage.com/hack-th

Also today is my cohost @jeff's birthday!

@Louisa hey @mattherron you were right about this smoothie, I bet you don't check Mastodon again for like 24 hours

This is a genuine offer: Does anyone want to work together to make a new board game with a VHS component? Must supply own VHS video camera.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Wawa has a new mixed berry smoothie with whipped cream that tastes just like the blueberries and creme lifesavers lollipops I loved as a kid. Drop everything you are doing and drink 100 of them immediately or you are dead to me.

Can't believe it's still only motherfucking Monday. Christ, what a miserable day of the fucking week. Can anyone justify this absolute shit show?

-Garfield (paraphrased)

Hey, listen: I'm on board with the whole thing, I'm just saying I dont want to be the *first* one to eat the rich. I like to look at a bunch of different recipes before I decide what I'm making.

Picture yourself... in a boat, on a river... with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly. A girl with kaleidoscope eyes. Your boat is pulled by the tides, rapidly, inexorably... toward The Twilight Zone.

I don't know how you know how long is too long to spend planning wedding stuff in one day, but I guess it's when I start seriously considering getting my groomsmen (and woman) silver-plated yoyos as thank you gifts.

No spoilers for the Good Omens series except to say: Miranda Richardson is a delightful treasure and should be in everything.

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I listened to my own podcast on the way to work today, and thank god because I forgot @mattherron helped us all remember the names of the Avatar sequels

• Avatar
• Ava2r
• Avatar 3: The Fastest Avatar
• 4v4t4r

Hey Food Network, when will you finally produce a pilot for my pitch "Paul Hollywood and Guy Fieri: Spiky Cranky Food Gorillas" you cowards?!?

Honestly, if I rubbed a magic lamp and Willard Smith came out, I think I'd be even more impressed.

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