I want a rich sugar daddy to give me a ton of money so i dont have to work. But also i wont fuck (had too much dinner).

Suspiria owns pretty hard. Also movie reviewers are horrible at their job

under communism, we will all collectively own the libs

My current best idea ever is to re-shoot Rambo: First Blood shot-for-shot, but replace Rambo with Hulk Hogan, and the shitty sheriff with Ultimate Warrior, and the Kernel with Sgt. Slaughter.

Also no guns, only wrestling moves.

Other than that, it's the exact same movie. If anyone wants to give me 20 million dollars to make this movie pls dm me.

*crosshairs on Trump*
*Hillary Clinton on the sniper rifle....*
Obama over the radio:"Take the shot"
Hillary: "Pokemon Go to hell you son of a bitch......"

Welcum 2 the resistance

Just took a huge gross shit at this bar. Apologies to the two guys who were clearly going in the bathroom to do coke.

Dog rules apply to humans now. If you pee on a house u own it. Humping objects is ok. If you see someone in the mirror they are ur enemy.

Welp, time to enter the metal chamber and hurtle through the air for 14 hours. "Try to sleep" "hope it doesnt fall!"

update: he's set up a half hour meeting for 430pm to discuss the tasks for the day

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controversial opinion (?): poppers are lame and not fun other than for butt stuff

Plenty of better bang for your buck with other drugs

Boss has given me nothing to do despite the fact that I charge by the hour.... is he doing a good praxis by undermining the corporate machine or trying to destroy my willpower with mindless office boredom????

I'm going to win the next Nobel Prize for training bees to swarm cops

Had to take a huge shit at this restaurant, but im by myself so i brought my bag into the bathroom so nobody steals my laptop, and now the servers either think im a heroin addict or some kind of turd pervert.

hahahahaha just remembered I fell out of a lighthouse while ripped on internet drugs and almost died one time hahahhaa holy shit that actually happened.

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