2022 Microsoft Teams Unwrapped

You spent 4,182 minutes talking on mute.
You attended 15,011 meetings that could have been an email
You visibly nodded thoughtfully at totally implausible ideas 623 times

@krusynth 350 dropped Team calls out of no where, 98 Team calls that didn’t ring

I don't talk a lot but the last two are definitely my reality 😆

@krusynth You had 45,653 meetings that continued as chats after they finished.

@krusynth I think you misplaced a decimal or something. That 15,011 number needs to be tripled

@krusynth We sent this to 6 of your senior managers to determine how much you work

@krusynth This is basically just the annual edition of the microsoft viva digest mails

@krusynth Can you hear me? Can you hear me? You’re on mute. Can you enlarge your screen, too small! Wait, let me set up my headphones.
But this aside, I don’t miss having to fight for a meeting room, glaring at those going over time or being glared at because you need 5 more minutes.

@JenProf @krusynth all corps get it cheap when they buy other MS services. No one in their right minds would pick it.

@krusynth I personally loved that Teams glitched out so frequently that I could drop from a meeting here and there and totally blame Teams. And then walk my dogs. 😘 And no one batted an eye.

@TinCanWin @krusynth Sometimes ou don't even have to speak the blame-spell:

A: I waited for your call the entire day!
B: Uh? I thought you were busy the entire day?
A: Oh, not that Teams bug again…

(never trust the status shown)

A: Why didn't you pick up my call?
B: You called?
A: Yes! 5 times! Argh… don't say Teams didn't ring again?

(yupp, happens all the time. It rings the first call of the day only, then never again)

There it goes, our "future"… 🙊 💨

@krusynth you shared the wrong screen 86 times - but only shared something you wish you hadn’t 3 times. 😏👍

@krusynth you told colleagues 65 times they were muted. 5 times you were muted yourself.

@krusynth @Kclemson You spent 100% of your meeting hours with the camera turned off

You spent 98% of your meeting hours on mute.

@krusynth The majority of meetings are useless, unproductive and time consuming. But ppl love meetings 😌

@krusynth Spent 72 hours looking for posts or chats. Wished I was using Slack 9,785 times.

@krusynth @geordie

2022 Webex Unwrapped

You spent 3,451 minutes frozen in an unflattering but soul-revealing expression
You sent 672 backchannel messages asking “is it me who’s frozen, can you still hear the speaker?”
You quit and restarted Webex 11,673 times

Seriously, my employer, in 2023 could we not.

@kate @krusynth it's really surprising to me that Webex still exists.

@geordie @krusynth Every single day.

1. Wake up computer
2. Webex falls in a heap
3. Restart
4. Attempt to join Webex meeting
5. Rinse, repeat

I’ve been thinking about institutional sunk costs manifesting as bad experience fatalism. Also it does one thing well (messaging) provided it’s not in a heap at that exact moment, in which case back to 3.

@krusynth @pixel you vomited 23476 times a little each time you saw the emojis. 483652 times you tried to use markdown to add emojis while editing messages and then cursed because Teams isn’t Slack.

- You made 7,635 searches and found 0 useful results

- You have 3 accounts and spent 82,965 minutes waiting to sign out from one and sign in to the other

- You cursed under your breath at Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer for being forced to use their terrible products too many times to count

@krusynth In fact, teams is only useful to spread hate speech against development teams, project managers and operations managers between your department colleagues in your "private" chat room.

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