Drinking, sex, drugs 

Three men die and go to hell. Satan asks the first "What was your favorite sin in life?" He replies "It would have to be booze, I stayed drunk all the time." So Satan leads him to a door and opens it to reveal a giant room containing acres of every type of alcoholic drink imaginable; beers, whiskeys, rum, vodka, wine, etc. "Very well," Satan says. "You'll spend the next hundred years in here." "Hell yes!" the first man replies and jogs in as Satan locks the door behind him.

Drinking, Sex, Drugs 

"What about you?" Satan asks the second man. "It was definitely lust for me. I shagged every woman I could in every way I could. I couldn't stay faithful to any of my wives." "Very well," Satan replies and opens a door to reveal acre upon acre of beautiful, horny women in every imaginable configuration; blondes, brunettes, redheads, Asian, African, fat, skinny, voluptuous, etc. "I'll be back for you in a hundred years."

Drinking, Sex, Drugs 

"Hell yeah!" the second man exclaims as he runs in. Satan locks the door behind him as well.

"What was your favorite sin in life?" Satan says to the third man. "Man, definitely the drugs. I was high all the time," replies the third man. Satan leads him to a room and opens the door to reveal a fat joint the size of a telephone pole lying in the middle of the room. "Alright!" the man says as he walks in and sits down cross-legged in front of the doobie with a grin on his face.

Drinking, Sex, Drugs 

Satan says, "I'll be back for you in a hundred years." as he locks the door.

100 years pass and Satan unlocks the first door. The first man comes crawling out, covered in a hundred years worth of vomit, excrement, and piss. Dry heaving, he looks up at Satan and says "I swear to God, I will NEVER drink again!" Satan nods and says "You've repented of your sin so I'm going to give you a second chance at life."

Satan unlocks the second door and... +

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Drinking, Sex, Drugs 

the second man drags himself outside with his arms because nothing below his waist is working anymore. He's hollow-eyed, emaciated, and covered in scratches and claw marks. "As God is my witness, I'm never even going to LOOK at a woman again!" Satan replies "Very well, you're repented of your sin so you get a second shot at life."
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Drinking, Sex, Drugs 

Satan unlocks the third door to find the third man still sitting cross-legged with bloodshot eyes. And the enormous joint still sitting right in front of him. The man wipes the tears from his face, looks at Satan and sobs out, "Hey man, got a light?"

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