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"I've never sneezed. Not once in my entire life. Like. . . Is everybody just messing with me? Because it's not funny. Guys. . . is sneezing real?"

--President Obama's 2008 inagrial addresses

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Reposting my #introduction under a CW so it takes less apace 

I am a 20-year-old chicken enthusiast (they're just tiny velociraptors!) currently going to school for biochem.

My passions include toot jokes, DnD, hiking excruciatingly long distances, guitar and bass, and writing sci-fi novels that I'll never finish.

My gender identity is complicated -- I'm fine with people calling me a man, but I don't really *feel* like one. I don't even feel like a person tbh.

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hopping on my old account for a sec, cuz I genuinely want to understand your motives:

why would you hop into my mentions to shout all-caps slurs at me,, and then block me? I would think your goal was to elicit a reaction, isn't blocking me before I can get upset sort of antithetical to that? Or if your goal wasn't to make me upset, what *was* it?

show me one baby that's good at minecraft. you can't because it doesn't exist. if a baby even tried playing minecraft i would grief their base and steal all their diamonds. Trust me.

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Thinking about licking a sugar bowl to get that luxury White Chocolate experience at home

@jacethechicken but at least white chocolate dosnt present itself as good chocolate until you take a bite and it fills your mouth with toothpaste

@comradetaylorswift *scissors are visibly straining me to hold, crushing me under their weight* s-sounds good to me!!

would you fav and boost more often if i carried around a knife or pair or scissors while i said stupid shit? sound off in the comments below!

>gay+ trans woman calls cishet man a 'little bitch'
>THIS is what HOMOPHOBIA looks like

I just... I need a moment

Boost this toot to help me rebuild also to get the word out that social sucks now

that β€œfriendship ended” meme but it’s friendship ended with .cloud now bofa is my new friend send toot

he's "wil" instead of "will" because he's completely unable to take the L

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