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-a german reaction to the apocalypse, dawn of the gods, nuclear war, an alien attack or no bread in the house.

self care is not clicking the show more button on buff mario cws

i hate buff mario. so why do i still always click the show more button. we just don't know.

tarot reader draws my card, instantly becomes confused as they don’t remember having a “Huge Nerd” card in the deck

also why is the good shitposting always happening when i sleep

trans women are women, trans men are men, nonbinary ppl are whatever they want to be, and if you think differently find a different website

A dolphin, a squid, a skeleton, a duck, and a druid walk into a Mastodon instance and the mod says “what the fuck?”
“We’re here for the communism.” said the dolphin
“We’re here for the shitposts.” said the squid.
“We’re here for the chaos.” Said the skeleton.
“They all came here so I’m here too.” Said the duck.
“I’m super gay” said the druid.
Then the mod tucked them all into bed, read them a bedtime meme, and kissed them all goodnight.


So I actually stopped using Twitter about 5-6 years ago, and there's always been time when I thought "maaan I miss it, I should get back to it" but then I never did because it seemed to get worse every year. But I still missed the good old times. And what can I say? Mastodon scratches that itch so very well and it is exactly what I wanted and missed about the old Twitter days and I love it very much.

I'd like to visit some day an english-talking country (?) so I can say "dude" every ten words, like a proper moron

features still missing from mastodon: the "solidarity, comrade" button for when someone posts something deeply personal/emotional and you want to show support without the weird implication of "hell yeah your inner pain is my favorite"

[internal monologue] don't develop crushes on any of the users here, don't develop crushes on any of the users here, don't develop crushes on any of the users here

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