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The bouncer: "Sorry, bar's full."

Me: "You sure about that?" I remove a 50-dollar bill from my pocket to expose it's sharp paper-cutty edge

The bouncer, terrified: "Go right in sir"

if I looked into a random hotel room and saw a man in a bear costume performing oral sex on a party guest I would mind my own business

Yeah I’m thinking about gaining 20 more followers as a funny bit

I should spend more time on Mastodon, but I’ve been busy.

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