10 years in to using twitter with 330k followers who hate me, absolutely miserable, posting stuff like "when it comes to dip, nothing beats spinach artichoke" and the top reply is just a photoshopped image of me in a casket
it’s fucking cool that the republican national convention is no longer an event at a physical location now. it’s just a series of increasingly lumpy men who look like they get divorced every day standing shitheadedly in fields within some metaphysical, abstract purgatory space. that’s america
i love being a 19-year-old reddit guy who comments “Fuck coronavirus” under a post that’s clearly just a stock photo of an elderly man in a hospital bed with the title “pray for my mimmy grampus please” and immediately getting 4k upvotes and gold
in a few years there will be another Berenstein/Berenstain Bears kind of dimensional shift except it’ll be us collectively realizing that Winnie the Pooh actually had a huge cock that was just flopping around down there the whole time
*black and white infomercial shows me struggling to construct a country using only the inherent inhumanity of late capitalism and the humanitarian needs of millions of people* there’s got to be a better way
*america enters frame, transition to full color and upbeat music* there isn’t!