Six years ago today my grandmother made a post on Facebook about how nice it was to finally be in the arms of Jesus.
Prompting a phone call to my mom:
👩 "Did Grandma die???"
👵 "What??"
👩 "Because I think she's Facebooking from heaven??"
👵 "... let me call my sister, I'll call you back."
Reader, she had in fact died and my aunt had posted as her.
This is my best Facebook story and gets the best reactions at parties because what the everloving fuck
Why doesn't the afterlife have its own social media platform? Is Jesus everyone's friend a la Myspace Tom? Also wouldn't Facebook be more of a Hell thing?
For months afterward "Grandma" would make a post whenever a close friend had died, welcoming them into heaven.
Another call to my mom:
👩 "I am unfriending dead-Grandma from Facebook because I just can't with this anymore, and I don't care if anyone is upset about it."
👵 "That is a great idea."