Six years ago today my grandmother made a post on Facebook about how nice it was to finally be in the arms of Jesus.

Prompting a phone call to my mom:

πŸ‘© "Did Grandma die???"
πŸ‘΅ "What??"
πŸ‘© "Because I think she's Facebooking from heaven??"
πŸ‘΅ "... let me call my sister, I'll call you back."

For months afterward "Grandma" would make a post whenever a close friend had died, welcoming them into heaven.

Another call to my mom:

πŸ‘© "I am unfriending dead-Grandma from Facebook because I just can't with this anymore, and I don't care if anyone is upset about it."
πŸ‘΅ "That is a great idea."

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This is my best Facebook story and gets the best reactions at parties because what the everloving fuck

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Why doesn't the afterlife have its own social media platform? Is Jesus everyone's friend a la Myspace Tom? Also wouldn't Facebook be more of a Hell thing?

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