Dead Cells is a rogue-like Metroidvania game in early access on Steam... Normally, I don't recommend early access, because I hate the concept, but this game is really damn good.

Semi-rural Life 

Well, at least I have a new culvert and ditches for my driveway, which is what passes for excitement in my world.

I started the day annoyed and it's just morphed into pointless malaise and anger as the day went on. Now, as I sit in the car feeling that disconcerting buzzing in my head, I'm also reminded that I apparently forget to take my morning meds. No doubt my reflux will be welling up soon to put the topper on things.

I don't know why I'm announcing this, except it makes slightly more sense than saying it to the air. Which frankly also doesn't make any sense.

Jason boosted

@OldandConfused That was my plan for the afternoon! I was going to hunker down at my desk and refuse to make eye contact with anyone. And then someone messaged me a question in our chat program. 😑

Also, those videos of belt-whupping, slap happy Indian Chuck Norris reminds me of how inappropriately hot I find Indian women...

But I still can't sit through their 3-4 hour movies.

Indian Chuck Norris is the Best Chuck Norris.

This video will chance your life.

Yes, it's a slow fucking day and my idiot friend won't stop sending me videos.

Idiot co-worker just sent me this video, which is why he deserves to eat the kind of lunch I posted today...


I'm out of Coke and chocolate.

This day is hopeless.

Laughing sadistically at co-worker trying the most disgusting looking microwave meal I've ever seen.

Oh good, one of the office blathermouths who will literally just walk up to people and start blathering on is giving parenting advice to people.

I am officially pissed off at WB Games and their PR right now.

I am micro-ranting.

Holy Shit.
The Orville is the Galaxy Quest Star Trek parody show I've been dreaming of...

I mean, if I actually still dreamed good things... instead of the awful awful nightmares I have instead.

I mean, look, it looks hilarious ok?

Stop judging me.

I really don't understand how the InstaPot works and should really read the instructions.

I tend to get really even more depressed when I think about my personal past, because it's past and also because I pretty much fucked up at every turn.

Waxing Old Guy about Video Games 

So many of my articles lately rely on simply have been there for the history of video games and relaying my memories, reactions, and obsessions with things. This is especially true of anything arcade related. My entire childhood and young adult period was basically a long chase for "arcade-quality".

It's a concept that has absolutely no meaning or even analog in modern times.

Capcom games were a huge part of that obsession in the 90s.

I'm researching the history of Street Fighter for an article and just discovered something I never knew. There was a semi-sequel to the first SF game called Human Killing Machine whose roster included a prostitute from the Netherlands.

The problem with writing noir is it goes so naturally with first person narrative. And I loathe first person. I hate reading it. I hate writing it, but certain genres just seem to narrate themselves to your brain in the format and then I'd have to translate it to a perspective I don't hate.

To really make me hate a story, have it be both in first person and present tense.

Honestly, with maybe one single exception, if something is written in present tense I actively hate everything about it.

Just because I'm apparently incapable of writing jack shit lately, doesn't mean my brain doesn't inundate me with ideas anyway. Because it hates me.

I'm currently thinking about a novel thing that mostly takes place in a city in hell that is overrun with all the people who couldn't get into heaven because the asshole fundies ruined the place.

Like do these people even stop to consider how inane the concept of heaven even is? WTF do you even do there for eternity?

I also have to apparently run a 5k with my first born this weekend, so if nothing else I can look forward to dying shamefully in public.

I've pretty much ghosted out on my previous movie buddy, but even if I hadn't I'd still be seeing Alien online. Nobody I personally know here likes anything horror like and it's really annoying. I mean, seriously, it's make believe people, grow some balls.

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