When the Spice Girls chose their Spicy alter-ego nicknames, the girl with the biggest boobs should have chosen to go by Spice Rack.
Who's the funniest droid in the Star Wars universe?
Omg. Guys. My photo is the headline photo for the article.
I make apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
Have you heard about the new movie called Constipation? It hasn't come out yet.
There are two types of people in the world.
People who help me hide the body, and people who are the body.
It's amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
Me: Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like home.
Priest: I don't believe that is an actual prayer...
Me: No, but it's like a prayer.
Why do people say ”I saw it with my own eyes.” Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?