Twitmo Escapee @MySideIsHumanity@mastodon.cloud

"They took our Christmas trees! They took our bathrooms! But they'll never take... our butter!"

#BegunTheButterWarsHave 🤣

Any resemblance to persons or groups real, metaphysical, noncorporeal, or otherwise are purely coincidental. #Assistance

I'm amused by weird things, which makes me likely to check out links with high weird potential.

This one's so strange it even weirds me out: It appears to be a decrepit shrine to 50s/60s/70s/80s-era child actors, but with an active message board.
http://www.boysonyourscreen.org/

@pbandkate You know, this is the perfect metaphor for how the DNC tries to relate to millennials.

@SpaceForceCommander @pbandkate

The Assistance, baffled that all the insults and condescension haven't brought voters to them in droves, tries the "Reverse Lysistrata Gambit".

@SpaceForceCommander @pbandkate
Now I badly want to create a public birdsite alt, just so I can tell Flynn (aka "I did it to a woman... I did it at the tractor supply store... etc")

"I'm happy for you, but this is ~really~ TMI."

@pbandkate @goodleftyfundies
Heh, small world. Glad it's not just me.
https://mastodon.cloud/web/statuses/100952995112418157

Jesus Christ. Apparently someone read this joke (various forms)...

Anarcho-syndicalist: "So now do you understand why supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses?"

Drive-thru worker: "Yes, but I still need to know if you want dipping sauce."

...and didn't realize it was a joke. 🤦

https://twitter.com/HoarseWisperer/status/1054846647560257536

Republican gangstas keep it real. 🔫

"Gov. Wolf, let me tell you, between now and Nov. 6, you better put a catcher’s mask on your face because I’m going to stomp all over your face with golf spikes"

https://secondnexus.com/news/scott-wagner-tom-wolf-stomp-face

There's no friend like a Mastodon friend.

@dubsteppenwolf Sexy Hillary Clinton approves.

@jacethechicken @comradetaylorswift German is what you get when all your friends have bad chest congestion.

@streetvalkyrie@radical.town I have *no* idea what you're talking about, we *never* convey opposite meanings by stressing certain syllables. 😉

@mtndudebro Congrats! 🎉🎊

(Last week, myself. Almost left with an Earl Thomas Salute to the toxic manager, but realized it wasn't worth it.)

@2684x I fell in love with the thumbnail when I used it elsewhere, and it came up as "The Great Tit is the largest member of the Tit family..." 🙃

(which I disagree with, not that it's relevant 😏)

@Adoxographer@knzk.me Thank you for the first socially-relevant toot I've seen today.

@Pepsi@radical.town @goodleftyfundies Mastodon lewds: Because you can't have "wholesome" without holes.

I'm moving to the UK tomorrow to become an ornithologist.

Name another profession where you can get paid to look at great tits all day. https://twootz.com/bird/Great-Tit