Samuel Smith ✅ @Jirikiha@mastodon.cloud

Uno #moss photo.
For #Mosstodon and for #puns
Taken near the Pima Canyon trailhead in Phoenix, Arizona.

This looks dead most of the year, but revives and shows its beauty when it rains.

Business idea:
The Cobbler
Serves pastries and repairs shoes.
#puns

#puns

Every time I went to the bathroom I'd feel wiped afterward - until I got a bidet.
Now, everything goes swimmingly!
#puns

My neighbour blamed my gravel for making him fall.

But it was his own dumb asphalt!
#puns

Arnold Schwarzenegger's IT guy offered to upgrade him to Windows 10.
Arnold declined and said, "I still love Vista, baby!"

#IT #puns

Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee".
Astronaut 2: "In space, no-one can. Here, use cream".
#puns

I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk, but never got the chants.
#puns

Did you know: Before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do their drinking at home.
#puns

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grape.

It's all about raisin awareness.
#puns

They are high in fiber and a good source of iron, too!
https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/are-raisins-good-for-you

How do you deal with an angry redhead?

Gingerly
#puns

Why do Microsoft programmers wear glasses?

So they can C#
#puns

If your kids act up, don't worry. It will be better tomorrow.

Just think of it as a bad heir day!

#puns

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!
#puns

Why are French snails faster than English snails?

Less cargo
#puns

Why do bees stay inside the hive in winter?

Swarm
#puns

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia
#puns

Is the Jewish technological singularity called the Bot Mitzvah?
#puns

If a knight in Prague dons his armor, does that mean the Czech is in the mail?
#puns

I read a book on anti-GRAVITY. I couldn't put it down.
#puns