IndignantBastard @IndignantBastard@mastodon.cloud

My toots smell like lemon verbena with a touch of lilac.

Mastodons are geniuses, poets
Tweeters have crabs, and their partners know it.

There are Mastodons
On the horizon
Delicate might
Emerged from extinction
Thawed, thick, and tight
The ice age of capitalism
Frozen the masses
With fright
A new day dawned
A Mastodon has spawned
Wide and deep en masse
Here to kick much ass

Don't call it a comeback
Mastodons been here for years
Open sourcing for years
Putting birdies in fear
Makin' their tears
Rain down like a Monsoon
Listen to the Mastodon BOOM!
Explosion!!
Overpowerin'!!
Over the competiton we're towering!
Wrecking shop, when we drop these TOOTS that'll make you call the cops!!
Don't you dare, stare, Twitter better move!
Don't ever compare!
Us to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced, Twitter gonna pay the price!

Whatdya sick?
We're a slick, stupid tootists
Tooting that you can't comprehend
But you're buying this
Bird site we're breakin
Internet of things we're shaking
Hoping
Toots rollin
No jokin
Keep trollin
As we do this
You'll be put on bed rest
No hangin'
While toots bangin
On the strength
There's no contest
Physically and lyrically
It's a Mastodon Kingdom
Stingin' Em
And Bringin' Em
Toots of Wisdom

Life's a bummer
When you're a hummer

WOW...Aaron Hernandez found not guilty

I'm your Night Mastodon, asleep in the day
I'm your Night Mastodon, get out of my way
Look out for the Night Mastodon, watch you tonight
I'm the Night Mastodon, when you turn out the light ...

I just want to play guitar and eat pineapples

The toot motivator
Boost the toots
Like Yoda holds a saber

In this journey
I'm the tooter
with the toot-elage
Am I eternal?
Or an internalist?
Mastodon's rugged renegades
Shootin toots like a serenade
Boost up your toots and don't skimp
Get a grip
Toots equipped
There's one T
In the alphabet
And it's reserved
For toots
So place your bets
And bet on the winner
Mastodons thinning the bird site
Call it an early dinner
Or a late night snack
After midnight Mastodons
unite with Gremlins
and bird site is catching
A heart attack

Pardon me, do you have any Toot-Poupon?

Change of space
Change in kind
I'm not worth your time
Change your distance
In my time of dying
Still occupied
In vats of lies
Each mistake
Is my bane
Plain to see
So you say

When Mastodons were younger, and they went shopping with their Masto mommy, were they always relegated to 'husky' section of pants at J.C. Penny?

If I were a doughnut, would you try to glaze me?

If a Mastodon wakes up in the middle of the night to take a leak or get a swig of kool-aid, do you think one has ever stubbed his toe on the bedroom credenza?

If certain vegetables can be pickled, then how do you pickle a pickle? Or does it only become a pickle under cucumber metamorphosis? Is it a matter of being at the nexus of the pickle universe?

There are pineapples among us
They grow on us like a fungus
Pineapple pineapple
Wonderful treat
Pineapple Pineapple
Weapon of deceit
Not just Tooty fruity
Pineapple dropped on your head
Fruit war of impunity