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fuck "jokes". everything i toot is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. Mastodon dot social. i live for this

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Pleasantville (1998): TV characters live in a society. D. By Gary Ross. 125 minutes. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS: You say that because grandma got run over by a reindeer, you and grandpa now believe in Santa? Is that truly the limit of your skepticism? And as for this Santa figure, by your own account he is clearly a loathsome figure with no regard for human life. That is, if he does exist. Why would you even want to believe in him?

I love leading a horse to water. But I damn sure don't expect the fucker to drink it!!!!!!

Everybody partied way too hard at the dicksucking factory's office holiday party last year. I'm glad we're doing it remotely this year.

Not sure how soon I should tell the girl I'm dating that I work at the dicksucking factory.

*watching a dog suck their own butthole* wow, you are truly a transcendent being. Where does your wisdom and power come from?

Gonna ask my bosses at the dicksucking factory to play the new Taylor swift while we work tomorrow. Sick of the crap we usually have to listen to.

Satellite of Love by Lou Reed is a song about a satellite that the guy loves.

If a krampus ever tried to kill me, I would simply remember the true meaning of christmas and defeat him with the kindness of my soul.

Telling everyone playing monopoly with me to "king me" every time I purchase a new property.

If lord Voldemort ever tried to kill me I would simply shoot him with a gun.

John carpenter's the thing is a movie about a bunch of guys trying to kill an alien invader.

Full Metal Jacket is a movie about a bunch of cool guys who have fun becoming marines and fighting a war.

I hate when the council of elders summons me for a fight to the death because a challenger has taken offense to me teaching our secrets to outsiders!!!

Prometheus (d. By ridley Scott): Aliens live in a sexist society. 124 min. ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

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