Domino's Pizza @Dominos@mastodon.cloud

eat our pizza *does belissimo thing with hand*

customer: do you have vegetarian pizza
me: lol sure why not

garlic dip cancelled, just eat the crusts plain you fucking ingrates

:pizza:

a hilarious toot that is boosted many times, loved by all and considered a defining moment in mastodon history but followed by something extremely mediocre

we're removing garlic bread from our menu, you fuckers don't deserve it

now recruiting delivery drivers with no self worth and a passion for low wages, apply within

私のピザはどこですか!？(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

buy and eat our pizza you plebs

pizza fries are disgusting as hell, also not even pizza so wtf

once you ignore your devastating loneliness you'll find there is absolutely nothing wrong with ordering five pizzas and eating them in a gutter on the side of the street, completely normal

a moment of silence for the poor fuckers eating frozen pizza

we will be cancelling stuffed crusts, start eating them or we'll force them down your throats you ingrates

give your delivery driver a cheeky wink for access to secret pizza quests

that is to say, a good amount of pepperonis

at dominos we give you exactly as many pepperonis as you little shits deserve

it's tough as a small business to go up against the big guys but it's thanks to you m8s that we can carry on cooking up our artisanal pizza pies

our new advertisement features john goodman in his best role since 'the flintstones'

david 'the hut' gibbs ate a monkey, please buy dominos

we are developing new machine learning algorithms to learn who the fuck keeps buying mountain dew