Look at the baby owls ๐ฆ! Just LOOK, you guys. I want!
HOW I MADE MY FORTUNE:
You ever seen a bunch of dudes wearing fingerless gloves, all huddled around a trash can what's on fire?
That was me. I invented the trashcan with a fire in it. Cornered the market with drifters, rounders, and ne'er-do-wells. Sure, most of 'em paid in hobo nickels and purloined apple pies, but some of 'em... they paid in wisdom.
Which I reinvested. Now I sleep on a bed made of wisdom. And you could too, for a small monthly fee, to join my newsletter, written in chalk under highways or inside railcars! Convenient!
give him a chance. it's too early to tell what he's gonna do
me to #parkdale night cat: here kitty kitty *kissy noises*
*cat is apathetic. raccoon hopefully comes down from tree*
me: ...not you
Ladies, when you go out tonight remember these safety tips:
Wear bright colors to indicate to predators that you are poisonous.
Look bigger than you are! Hold your arms out and take up space!
Maybe paint a face on your back to confuse them?
It's Friday, so you know what that means! Time to flense our bodies and have our skeletons thrown down into a well where we'll be made immortal in the stories told of our ghostly cries rattling off the bricks, tainting the water with our sorrow, collecting the coins tossed in and granting wishes as we like!
"Every organism exists as a vehicle for the ennoblement of water into consciousness." โDavid Avocado Wolfe
This is ridiculous but I also love it.
[Near an open grave. An elderly person's hand appears from within, at the grave's lip, shakily seeking purchase. An expensive loafer kicks its grip loose.]
Republican Congressperson: It's the market. I wish there was something we can do. It's a shame. I know you don't see tears on my face, but I'm crying. The invisible hand. Market forces.
[A gray-haired head starts to crest, and the loafer collides with it in a swift kick.]
RC: Wish there was more we could do. ... More people we could fit in here.
#BirdDay part 5.
Red-backed fairywren,
Varied fairywren (blue black and russet)
Superb fairywren (blue and black)
https://mastodon.social/media/xiOKJVsv86sxRwfJwco
https://mastodon.social/media/7E3GP3vtpBQORkhX3DY
https://mastodon.social/media/OGJDkz7sYjTsPUR0Upg
Good morning. The calm before the (rain)storms.
https://mastodon.club/media/zSHFfdUZcCs4PxHzM8s
I used to call my work clothes my "office drag"*, but that's an insult to drag. From now on I'm cosplaying as an office worker.
(Isn't it Ru Paul who said "you're born naked, everything else is drag"? If not, shouldn't it have been?)
Another day spent lying motionless, between two mattresses, hoping to avoid the baleful eye of a Google document.
I can feel the pressure on the springs above me as it peers in through the window.
I make typical mattress noises, the impersonation flawless, to complete the disguise.
Omg guys. My lilacs are starting to blossom. ๐๐๐๐๐ Lookie, I found the first little pink flowers open today! *So Excite* https://mastodon.cloud/media/-WcEu4LeKC19sbiXXoM
้ขจใฎๅฟๅฐใใๆฅๅทฎใใฎไธญใๆ ใใ้
after clinic
everything ok
toddler and i
reading haiku
in the honda
awaiting the
mustard bus
The Legend of Sailor Bubba (cw convention creeps) Show more
My car remote died. I had to insert my key into the lock like some kind of goddamn animal.
Iโve been told I can be a bit condescending. That means I talk down to people.
I once read that nothing says "Bitch Don't Fuck With Me" more than tucking your tampon behind your ear like a cigarette, but I think sticking your Diva cup to your forehead, like a magestic AF unicorn may also work.
#FollowFriday #ff sharing/stealing idea from @nathaniel
a few awesome people to follow if you're looking to find new people:
* @nathaniel
* @aemarc
* @Meshelly
* @webdevvie
* @dardo
* @Ian_Fry
* @Gargron
...more to come (if I remember); next friday.
